Have you ever felt as though certain events in your life simply unfold as though they have a mind of their own? Even though, try as you may, you do your best to use your common sense and think before you act.
Breaking up with someone (especially if you’ve been dumped) can feel like that.
In fact, there are things you end up doing that are simply beyond words. Okay, for some of us at least.
I’ve been there once or twice and let me tell you, it isn’t nice. Well, unless your idea of a good time is acting like a lunatic and not having the ability to stop your obsessive thoughts or your actions.
Here are a few of the most common:
You confront your ex and their new partner.
Ouch, this one is painful. There is nothing more humiliating than escalating things to the point where you actually interact with the new couple. I did this once after weeks of torture at the hands of my ex. Discovering that she had a new boyfriend just put me over the edge. It was the single worst day of my life and something I still can’t (even to this day) believe I did.
It was a last resort and I was operating on pure emotion. I hadn’t slept properly for a week, my ex refused to acknowledge me (let alone talk to me), and I truly felt as though I was hurling toward rock bottom at break-neck speed.
The confrontation didn’t end well. Her new boyfriend and I almost came to blows, she kept screaming for me to leave them alone, and I stood my ground, demanding an answer as to why I was betrayed.
You won’t stop texting, phoning, emailing your ex.
Even after they have made it clear that they don’t care to discuss things, you continue contacting them, each time appearing more desperate than the last. As if non-stop texting is going to suddenly make them change their mind, take you back, and you’ll both live happily ever after. Haha…
It seems so silly looking back at this now. Hard to believe I was that person. Isn’t it a wonder that she still, to this day, has no contact with me?
You confront your ex and really let them know what you think of them.
While you may feel a short-lived satisfaction, letting loose on your ex in this way is a death-blow to the relationship. Any chance you had is now gone, simply because you could not control yourself.
Being told off is bad enough. Being told off by someone you love (or loved) is so much worse. The emotional scars from something like this are deep. You cannot come back from it. You cannot “unsay” those hurtful, cutting words. Once it’s done, it’s done.
Yes, it sure can seem as though you are a passenger on a runaway train in times like this. For me, it almost felt as though I was a stranger looking at things unfolding and unable to do anything to stop it from happening. As though the future had already been written and I was merely going through the motions.
Now, does it have to be this way? Of course not. You do have options – even in the midst of the worse emotions, all you have to do is have the ability to step back long enough to think. If you can force yourself to do that, then you’re effectively taking steps to stop the runaway train.
Does it mean you’ll get your ex back anytime soon? Well, it could certainly prevent you from making it any worse than it already is.