Though there is a lot of good advice out there for anyone needing help with a broken heart, it is important that you use your common sense and make sure you evaluate those words of wisdom.
Here is some common sense advice that should help you get over this:
There is no doubt that a breakup can trigger intense feelings of loss. And, in most cases, this sense of loss can linger for quite some time. There is not much in this life that can equal the despair, anxiety, and sense of hopelessness created by a relationship that has gone bad. Depending on your circumstances, you may either feel that you are better off without them, or you are going to be aching to get them back. Whatever way you feel at the moment, one thing is certain: it is going to take some time before you feel like your old self again.
The important thing now is that you get a handle on your emotions so that you don’t do something you might regret. A good example of this may be the urge to rush into another relationship right away. Rebound relationships rarely work out the way you want them to. Instead of making things worse by introducing another person into an already complicated situation, it would behoove you to take some time to heal from the trauma you just experienced. That is not to say that you can’t date, just try not to get involved in something serious – rushing in with your emotions still in taters is a recipe for disaster.
You need time to heal from your broken heart before you will have what it takes to try again with another person. For the time being, why not hang out with some old friends and practice socializing a little – you may be out of practice. See what it feels like to be single again.
Another reason not to try and jump right back into a serious relationship is that in your fragile emotional state, you may come off as a little desperate.
Keep in mind that this doesn’t have to be permanent – you are simply taking a breather in order to re-group so that the next relationship you encounter has a good chance of working out. Talk to someone you trust. It is always a good idea to talk to someone about how you are feeling. This should be a trusted friend or family member. It often does a world of good to talk about how you are feeling. Even if they don’t have any brilliant advice for you, you will be able to use them to help you put things in perspective.
Now, when you are looking for advice for a broken heart, you may not necessarily want to move on. In fact, you may be even more determined to get your ex back.
Here’s how to start:
Having someone who can provide a 3rd party perspective can be invaluable. Hold off on trying to get the relationship back if you feel desperate and would do just about anything to get your ex back. Remember that desperation is not an attractive quality and you need to avoid this kind of behavior in front of your ex. You are much better off to take it easy and not appear so eager.
Even if you have to start over as friends, it is a step towards eventually getting them back – if that is your intention. In the meantime, you could try dating casually just until you get your emotions under control. This should ease the neediness and desperation you’re feeling at the moment and might even boost your self-esteem a little.
Not only will this allow you to take your mind off the relationship, but it will also show your ex that you are getting on with your life. Once they see that you aren’t so needy and can manage just fine without them, you are likely to see them take a more humble stance. In fact, don’t be surprised if they start showing signs of attraction towards you again. Take it slow, be a little aloof and act as though it isn’t the end of the world for you if they aren’t in your life.
If your plan is to eventually reunite with your ex, this is the best way to go about it. While there is a ton of advice for a broken heart out there, ultimately you need to decide if you want them back or you simply want to move on without them. If you want them back, start working on curbing your desperation and neediness. This automatically ups your perceived value.
It really is as simple as that.
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