Okay, so what do I mean by renting space in your ex’s head? Well, simply put, you want to have them thinking about you after the breakup. In fact, you want them to obsess about you even if they don’t want to acknowledge that they are obsessing about you. In order to do this, you are going to have to be very cool and calm about things in the aftermath of the breakup. Needless to say, confidence is going to play a huge role.

If you are able to make your ex think about you without making it look like you are trying, you are going to be off to a good start. If they think, even for a second, that you are intentionally doing things to manipulate the situation, then you are going to fail.

One thing you do not want to do is underestimate your former partner’s ability to see through you. This is possibly one of the biggest mistakes people make after a breakup. The bottom line is that you have to almost believe it yourself if you want to convince them that it is the real deal.

One example of this is when you simply start doing your own thing and you act as though you are perfectly fine. This is an incredibly powerful tactic for many reasons, but it is only effective if you are able to convince your ex that you are really acting genuine. If they suspect that it is all act for their benefit, you are not going to go far – in fact, you are going to damage your credibility with them permanently.

Now, one problem people have with acting like they don’t care is that they don’t want their ex to think that they don’t care. Can you see where the problem lies? You are so worried about offending your ex and “losing them” for good, you fail to do the one thing that is going to create the interest and attraction that you need to get your relationship back. That one thing is to take away their power over you by simply getting on with your life and making it look as genuine as possible.

Oftentimes, it is not what you say that makes a bigger impact, it is what you don’t say. If you concentrate on your own life, you are going to steal back some of that power you gave up right after the split. If you make it look like it is no big deal, you are going to get their attention – that is simple human nature. They are going to be wondering why you are not phoning and texting. They are going to wonder why you aren’t begging them to come back. They are going to wonder what they are doing wrong. And that, my friend, is going to put you in the driver’s seat. They are going to be obsessed with you – not the other way around. In short, you are going to be renting space in their head.

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In almost every case, friends and family like to help anyone who has just gone through a breakup. That is all well and good, but you have to take some of that help with a grain of salt and you have to prevent them from getting too involved with your personal life. Thought they may feel that they are doing you a favor, they can be the source of unneeded grief.

It is natural that the people who are closest to you are going to want to help, but sometimes you don’t need to have your ex on the receiving end of their wrath. In a situation like this, you are best to simply tell your friends and family to steer clear of your ex. If you really want to get him/her back, the last thing you want to do is create any hard feelings between those closest to you and your former partner.

If you ever manage to get them back, you want to make sure that there is no long term damage done because they are going to be a part of your family again at some point. Imagine how difficult it is going to be if someone said something that was particularly nasty, thinking that they were just sticking up for you and that they would never see this person again? It could be a little embarrassing, to say the least.

The other thing you have to think about is how this is going to harm your relationship with your friends and family if they start putting your ex down, only to have to backtrack when the relationship is restored. Could you forgive someone who said some nasty things about your mate during the split? While you know that they are only saying these things to show solidarity with you during your time of need, the things they say could stay at the back of your mind for a long time.

The bottom line is that you are going to want to maintain some neutrality after the breakup. Avoid venting on people and bad mouthing your ex because this is going to lead to them acting in the same way as a form of support. You may find that they are going to tell you what they really think of your ex, and it may not be nice. Sometimes they just say things to make you feel better without thinking that it could come back to haunt them.

It is one thing to confide in a trusted friend, but something else to broadcast your predicament to your entire group of friends. Who needs more complication in their life?

And speaking of complicating things…. Did you know that most of us do not have a clue when it comes to getting an ex back? In fact, the majority start out on the wrong foot and it gets worse from there. What if you have a guide that showed you how to start and every move you should to be making in order to get your ex back? Click Here  for the ultimate get your ex back guide.

No matter how hard you try, nothing you say or do is making a difference when it comes to getting your ex back. In fact, you may have noticed that your actions are actually having the opposite effect – they are driving your ex further away.

If this sounds like you, your problem may be psychological. In other words, certain things may be going on that are causing you to act desperate and needy. In turn, this is turning your ex off. In some cases, you can literally “think” your way into such a situation.

Here is how it usually works:

Your ex tells you it is over. From that moment on, you are on the losing end of a psychological battle of wits that you have no hope of winning. By breaking up with you, your ex is showing you that they no longer want to be with you. That is going to give them the upper hand from that moment on.

You, on the other hand, are at a disadvantage. You have no hand, so to speak. You have no power over your ex because you are the one who was rejected. This is one thing you have to come to terms with and accept that you can’t change it.

However, you can change the way you handle yourself. You don’t have to fall into the trap that most other dumpees do. You don’t  have to blow things out of proportion and make mistakes that will permanently damage your chances of getting your ex back. The way you start, is by changing the way you think.

It is natural to want to “fix” the situation when you are told it is over. You aren’t thinking about how to handle yourself psychologically. You aren’t thinking about being discreet and controlling your emotions. You are not thinking about how your actions are going to affect your long-term chances of getting your ex back. No, you are thinking about how you can make things right. You are thinking about getting back to the way things were. You are thinking about stopping the pain.

The problem with this is that you are going to start acting desperate – despite your best efforts. You are going to start contacting your ex to find out why they dumped you and what you can do to make it better. What you don’t understand is that you are making yourself look needy with every text message and phone call you make. You are telling them that it is okay that they dumped you and you want to make up. When it doesn’t work (and it won’t), and  you get rejected, you are going to feel humiliated and even more distraught – this is going to lead to even more desperation and the cycle goes on and on. Eventually, you may get to the point where your ex just doesn’t want anything to do with you. Not a good position to be in.

Can you relate to all this? Have you been there and done that?

If you are in a similar situation, there is hope – but you are going to have to act fast. One thing you can do right now is get yourself out of the negative situation that is causing all your grief. The longer you are around familiar things that remind you of your ex, the worse off you are going to be. This is all affecting you psychologically, though you may not realize it. It is your current environment that is making you act a little crazy.

Try this: Simply make it a point to leave for a few days or a week. Get away completely and make sure that it is not possible to contact your ex. Initially, it is going to feel foreign and uncomfortable, but eventfully you are going to start forgetting about your troubles and enjoying yourself. Give it a try. If you can’t bear to be away from your ex, try getting some help from a friend. There is nothing wrong with asking for help at a time like this.

Give it a week and I guarantee you are going to start feeling a lot better.

For most folks, getting an ex back after a breakup is a pipe dream. Though they would love nothing better than to be reunited with their loved one, they see it slipping away before their eyes and there is nothing they can do about it. I am sure that we have all been there at some point.

What most people don’t realize is that there are a series of steps that have to be completed (in order) if they want any chance of getting their ex back. It is not as easy as simply phoning and texting until they agree to meet with you. The first meeting after a breakup is very important – do you want them to meet with you so you will stop harassing them, or do you want them to meet because they really want to see you?

Here are the steps:

Before you do anything, you have to identify what you are doing wrong. Sounds simple enough, but many folks fail to see where they are going wrong and then wonder why they have not been making any progress (or why they are making things a whole lot worse). You are making mistakes – stop and think about what they are.

In the next step, you are going to break off contact with your ex – just temporarily. This is going to be hard and it is something that many are not able to do. In fact, it may be one of the mistakes you listed in the previous paragraph. If there is one thing that is going to give you some bargaining power, it is this. By breaking off contact, you are telling them that you are not going to be there, at their beck and call. You are telling them that you are not going to start acting desperate and needy. This is going to give you some psychological power and you are not going to feel so helpless.

Next, you are going to have to get out of your doldrums and find things to occupy your time. The worst thing you can be doing at the moment is hanging around your home feeling sorry for yourself. It is the perfect time to call up an old friend and get out in public again. Or you can start up an old or new hobby. Whatever you decide to do, make sure that you do it with other people if at all possible. This is the best way to forget about your ex and get back into the swing of things again.

Practice your conversation and social skills. Now that you are single, life is going to be a little different. It is a great time to expand your social circle – and one of the best ways to do that is to meet as many people as possible. No one is going to turn you away because you are trying to talk to them. Some may be a little busy and politely excuse themselves, but very few are going to condemn you because you introduce yourself. The one thing that prevents people from doing this is shyness and having a fear of rejection. However, if you were to look deeper, you may discover that people you attempt to talk to are just as insecure as you are – maybe even more so.

Try to attend as many social events as you can. This is going to get you out of your comfort zone and give you lots of practice talking to new people. Who knows? One of them may eventually become a good friend. The bottom line is that you are not going to meet anyone if you are holed up in your apartment.

Lastly, once some time has passed and you have your emotions under control, contact your ex through email or text and ask them how they are doing. It is important that you don’t carry over some of the previous desperation (and you can bet that they are going to be expecting that). Instead, be calm and cool and try to concentrate on other topics besides your failed relationship. This is not a time to bring up how much you miss them or that you still have feelings for him/her. Keep it light and show them the person they fell in love with all those years ago.

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One of the best things you can do after a breakup is to do nothing at all. That is something that most people just don’t get and it is the main reason that they wind up in trouble. While this advice may seem counter-intuitive, you are going to have to fight those urges you have to contact your ex and focus on something else instead.

It is our nature to want to do something to fix a problem. If we do nothing, the problem does not get fixed – at least that is what we have been taught. After a breakup, we have an overwhelming urge to fix the problem.

But that is where you are going to run into trouble. You see, nothing you can say right now is going to make things better – there are no words you can say that will improve your situation, short term. Though you may be surprised to hear that, the sooner you accept it, the better off you are going to be. In fact, the only thing you are going to do by maintaining contact with your ex is show them how desperate you are. This is going to lead to them becoming even more distant and, as a result, you are going to become more desperate. You see how this can turn into a vicious circle? Maybe you have experienced this first hand.

If you find yourself in a situation like this right now, it is not too late to turn things around. Even if your ex is avoiding you and not talking, you can start to make changes that are going to improve your situation drastically. You can start by getting a little power back.

Yes, whether you realize it or not, you are at the losing end of a psychological game. Your ex is making all the decisions and you are reacting to everything they decide. That is not a good spot to be in and it is due to the fact that you have given away all your power. You have no advantage.

Obviously, one of the first things you are going to want to do is get some of that power back. You can do this by cutting off contact for a while. Nothing is going to work as fast as this and your ex is quickly going to realize that something is up. If you have been sending text messages and phoning them every hour on the hour and it suddenly stops, they are going to notice.

It is not necessary to keep this up for too long, but you also don’t want to get back to the situation you are in now. By breaking off contact, you are setting a new path and one that you need need to maintain. It is not going to do you any good if you break off contact with your ex and then go right back to the way things were. If you do that, it is going to look phoney and you are going to lose some credibility with them. Once you decide to go down this path, you have to keep it up.

On the other hand, you don’t want to overdo it. If you wait too long to establish contact again, you run the risk of your ex getting over you. Time has a way of easing the pain and that is not what you want. You do not want your ex to forget about you.

Instead, you should contact them to see how they are doing. Keep it very light and do not mention how much you love them or that you still miss them. You have to play it cool and keep any meetings short. Remember that you are going to have to start from scratch and the thing you have to do is exude confidence. You are going to have to be the opposite of someone who is insecure and needy and can’t think of anything better than to harass an ex with phone calls.

If you can pull this off, you are going to notice a different person. You are going to see your ex warming up to you and don’t be surprised if they start contacting you instead. That is simple human psychology and it works just about every time.

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Do you feel as though your life is never going to be the same because your ex partner decided to call it quits? Do you feel as though there is a huge hole that will never be filled? Has all the joy in your life been replaced by hopelessness and despair? Well, as bad as that sounds, you have a huge opportunity to make things right again and get them back for good.

There are two things you have to do right now: you have to get rid of the worst of your emotions, and you have to stop any negative behavior before it causes too much damage. Lets talk about each one. Read the rest of this entry

You have just been told that it is over by your partner and you are left scrambling, trying to pick up the pieces – can life get any worse?

At this point in the breakup, it is natural to want to make the pain stop, plain and simple. In fact, almost everyone goes through this in the beginning and they are willing to do whatever it takes to feel better again. Read the rest of this entry

There is no doubt that you are facing an uphill battle when it comes to getting your ex back – and one of the worst things you have to face is the fact that he/she is not listening to you. If they are not listening to you, you don’t stand much of a chance of getting them back.

So, why aren’t they listening to you? Well, there is a good chance that they don’t want to talk about getting back together and just assume that this is what you are trying to do. Read the rest of this entry

There are some steps to get your girlfriend back that are pretty easy, so don’t panic.  Let’s get right into what those steps are.

1.Don’t try so hard.  Come on, this never really works.  If you’re doing everything you can think of to get her back, and it isn’t working, why keep pounding your head against the wall.  Presumably your break up had a reason, and no amount of dramatic gestures or flowery prose is going to wipe away that fault.  So don’t bother wasting energy this way. Read the rest of this entry

No one wants to lose their boyfriend/girlfriend, but in many cases, it is for the better. This allows both individuals to cut their ties and hopefully meet someone who is a better match for them. However, there are also some breakups that are mistakes and should be fixed asap. If you are trying to get your boyfriend back, the first thing you need to ask yourself is if you are meant for each other. Is this really what you want in life? Once you know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that it is really something that you want, you can go full force and make it your mission in life.

Here are 10 things that might help you get going: Read the rest of this entry