For most folks, getting an ex back after a breakup is a pipe dream. Though they would love nothing better than to be reunited with their loved one, they see it slipping away before their eyes and there is nothing they can do about it. I am sure that we have all been there at some point.

What most people don’t realize is that there are a series of steps that have to be completed (in order) if they want any chance of getting their ex back. It is not as easy as simply phoning and texting until they agree to meet with you. The first meeting after a breakup is very important – do you want them to meet with you so you will stop harassing them, or do you want them to meet because they really want to see you?

Here are the steps:

Before you do anything, you have to identify what you are doing wrong. Sounds simple enough, but many folks fail to see where they are going wrong and then wonder why they have not been making any progress (or why they are making things a whole lot worse). You are making mistakes – stop and think about what they are.

In the next step, you are going to break off contact with your ex – just temporarily. This is going to be hard and it is something that many are not able to do. In fact, it may be one of the mistakes you listed in the previous paragraph. If there is one thing that is going to give you some bargaining power, it is this. By breaking off contact, you are telling them that you are not going to be there, at their beck and call. You are telling them that you are not going to start acting desperate and needy. This is going to give you some psychological power and you are not going to feel so helpless.

Next, you are going to have to get out of your doldrums and find things to occupy your time. The worst thing you can be doing at the moment is hanging around your home feeling sorry for yourself. It is the perfect time to call up an old friend and get out in public again. Or you can start up an old or new hobby. Whatever you decide to do, make sure that you do it with other people if at all possible. This is the best way to forget about your ex and get back into the swing of things again.

Practice your conversation and social skills. Now that you are single, life is going to be a little different. It is a great time to expand your social circle – and one of the best ways to do that is to meet as many people as possible. No one is going to turn you away because you are trying to talk to them. Some may be a little busy and politely excuse themselves, but very few are going to condemn you because you introduce yourself. The one thing that prevents people from doing this is shyness and having a fear of rejection. However, if you were to look deeper, you may discover that people you attempt to talk to are just as insecure as you are – maybe even more so.

Try to attend as many social events as you can. This is going to get you out of your comfort zone and give you lots of practice talking to new people. Who knows? One of them may eventually become a good friend. The bottom line is that you are not going to meet anyone if you are holed up in your apartment.

Lastly, once some time has passed and you have your emotions under control, contact your ex through email or text and ask them how they are doing. It is important that you don’t carry over some of the previous desperation (and you can bet that they are going to be expecting that). Instead, be calm and cool and try to concentrate on other topics besides your failed relationship. This is not a time to bring up how much you miss them or that you still have feelings for him/her. Keep it light and show them the person they fell in love with all those years ago.

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One of the best things you can do after a breakup is to do nothing at all. That is something that most people just don’t get and it is the main reason that they wind up in trouble. While this advice may seem counter-intuitive, you are going to have to fight those urges you have to contact your ex and focus on something else instead.

It is our nature to want to do something to fix a problem. If we do nothing, the problem does not get fixed – at least that is what we have been taught. After a breakup, we have an overwhelming urge to fix the problem.

But that is where you are going to run into trouble. You see, nothing you can say right now is going to make things better – there are no words you can say that will improve your situation, short term. Though you may be surprised to hear that, the sooner you accept it, the better off you are going to be. In fact, the only thing you are going to do by maintaining contact with your ex is show them how desperate you are. This is going to lead to them becoming even more distant and, as a result, you are going to become more desperate. You see how this can turn into a vicious circle? Maybe you have experienced this first hand.

If you find yourself in a situation like this right now, it is not too late to turn things around. Even if your ex is avoiding you and not talking, you can start to make changes that are going to improve your situation drastically. You can start by getting a little power back.

Yes, whether you realize it or not, you are at the losing end of a psychological game. Your ex is making all the decisions and you are reacting to everything they decide. That is not a good spot to be in and it is due to the fact that you have given away all your power. You have no advantage.

Obviously, one of the first things you are going to want to do is get some of that power back. You can do this by cutting off contact for a while. Nothing is going to work as fast as this and your ex is quickly going to realize that something is up. If you have been sending text messages and phoning them every hour on the hour and it suddenly stops, they are going to notice.

It is not necessary to keep this up for too long, but you also don’t want to get back to the situation you are in now. By breaking off contact, you are setting a new path and one that you need need to maintain. It is not going to do you any good if you break off contact with your ex and then go right back to the way things were. If you do that, it is going to look phoney and you are going to lose some credibility with them. Once you decide to go down this path, you have to keep it up.

On the other hand, you don’t want to overdo it. If you wait too long to establish contact again, you run the risk of your ex getting over you. Time has a way of easing the pain and that is not what you want. You do not want your ex to forget about you.

Instead, you should contact them to see how they are doing. Keep it very light and do not mention how much you love them or that you still miss them. You have to play it cool and keep any meetings short. Remember that you are going to have to start from scratch and the thing you have to do is exude confidence. You are going to have to be the opposite of someone who is insecure and needy and can’t think of anything better than to harass an ex with phone calls.

If you can pull this off, you are going to notice a different person. You are going to see your ex warming up to you and don’t be surprised if they start contacting you instead. That is simple human psychology and it works just about every time.

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Do you feel as though your life is never going to be the same because your ex partner decided to call it quits? Do you feel as though there is a huge hole that will never be filled? Has all the joy in your life been replaced by hopelessness and despair? Well, as bad as that sounds, you have a huge opportunity to make things right again and get them back for good.

There are two things you have to do right now: you have to get rid of the worst of your emotions, and you have to stop any negative behavior before it causes too much damage. Lets talk about each one. Read the rest of this entry

You have just been told that it is over by your partner and you are left scrambling, trying to pick up the pieces – can life get any worse?

At this point in the breakup, it is natural to want to make the pain stop, plain and simple. In fact, almost everyone goes through this in the beginning and they are willing to do whatever it takes to feel better again. Read the rest of this entry

There is no doubt that you are facing an uphill battle when it comes to getting your ex back – and one of the worst things you have to face is the fact that he/she is not listening to you. If they are not listening to you, you don’t stand much of a chance of getting them back.

So, why aren’t they listening to you? Well, there is a good chance that they don’t want to talk about getting back together and just assume that this is what you are trying to do. Read the rest of this entry

There are some steps to get your girlfriend back that are pretty easy, so don’t panic.  Let’s get right into what those steps are.

1.Don’t try so hard.  Come on, this never really works.  If you’re doing everything you can think of to get her back, and it isn’t working, why keep pounding your head against the wall.  Presumably your break up had a reason, and no amount of dramatic gestures or flowery prose is going to wipe away that fault.  So don’t bother wasting energy this way. Read the rest of this entry

No one wants to lose their boyfriend/girlfriend, but in many cases, it is for the better. This allows both individuals to cut their ties and hopefully meet someone who is a better match for them. However, there are also some breakups that are mistakes and should be fixed asap. If you are trying to get your boyfriend back, the first thing you need to ask yourself is if you are meant for each other. Is this really what you want in life? Once you know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that it is really something that you want, you can go full force and make it your mission in life.

Here are 10 things that might help you get going: Read the rest of this entry

One thing about breaking up is that you are going to get a lot of advice from many different people. In fact, you may get so much advice that you will find that some of them completely contradict each other.  The reason for this is that we are all different, and what worked for one person does not necessarily work for another.

For some people, it is as if they want to be sad and depressed. They will play their favorite couple song over and over – they will watch the “date” movies that they used to watch as a couple – they will wallow in sadness and reminisce about the relationship for weeks on end. While it is good to take some time to reflect and grieve about what you have lost, it is not a good idea to let this ruin your life. At some point, you are going to have to get out there and get back into society. Read the rest of this entry

Getting dumped is something that most adults go through at least once in their life. If you date, it is almost certain that you are going to be faced with losing a girlfriend at some point. Though it is something that most of us dread, the way you handle things in the days after the split will determine your fate.

Here are 5 things you are going to want to keep in mind in order to get your girlfriend back: Read the rest of this entry

If you’ve been with your partner for any length of time, it can be incredibly hard to deal with a breakup. As you are forced to cope with a completely new routine without your ex. Your life is turned upside down and you may sometimes feel that even getting out of bed in the morning is barely worth it. The longer you have been with your ex, the longer it is going to take to get used to this new routine.

All this is normal, however. It is natural to feel as though life will never be the same and picking up and continuing on with things just seems surreal. Let’s face it: you have been together for a long time and you are going to miss that life. In most cases, it is this sense of loss that is the hardest thing to get over. Read the rest of this entry