If you’re on the receiving end of a breakup (you got dumped), then it’s understandable that you’re a little shaken and unsure of yourself. Because, amongst other things, you’ve just been dealt a massive blow to your ego.
There has been a massive power shift and your ex is left holding all the cards.
You get to decide nothing. All you can hope for is that your ex changes their mind and, through the goodness of their heart, they take you back.
What a way to live…
But it doesn’t have to be that way. You don’t have to hope that your ex is going to throw you a bone and graciously take you back. Screw that, you deserve better.
But it all comes down to fear, right? You don’t want to make things worse by standing up for yourself because you could lose everything. I get that.
I hate to break it to you, but unless your ex is messing with your head and not serious about breaking up, you have lost everything already.
Sure, there’s a chance that you could get back together, but giving them everything they want and not wanting to upset the apple cart is not the way to do it. You are not going to gain a thing from doing that. In fact, you’ll be hurting your chances.
Look at what they did to you. Have some self respect and stand up to them.
And the way you do that is to not settle for what they’re offering. And what they’re offering is a slight chance at getting back together if you do everything right. If you make just one mistake, then you’re done. It’s like you’re interviewing for a position. No one should have this kind of power over you.
But what if you just said, “Screw it?” What if you refused to play those petty games and made a decision to not settle for scraps? Imagine the freedom you’d feel after making a decision like that?
What would your ex think? One day you’re kissing their butt and they are loving every minute of it, the next, they don’t hear a peep from you. Or if they do, they suddenly realize that you are no longer under their spell. You have taken your power back. The way you talk, the way you carry yourself – so much different than you used to be. So much more sure of yourself and confident. So much more attractive.
Your ex is going to miss the control. You’ve called their bluff and making decisions for yourself. Don’t worry about offending them or not living up to what they expect of you. It’s your life and you deserve better.
A funny thing happens after you take charge and do things for yourself. Your ex is going to get the message that you are done with them (even if you really aren’t) and you’re moving on.
You’ll see a new person if you can pull this off. They’ll no longer have the upper hand and you’re likely to see a more humble version of their former self.
The bottom line is that most people are afraid after getting dumped. All they want is to make things right and carry on. They watch what they say and do for fear of pissing off their ex and making things worse.
But if you really look at it, what have you got to lose? You aren’t going to get your ex back by being passive and agreeable, but you may strike a nerve if you reclaim your life and do your own thing.