The problem with most breakups is that it often results in one person taking things much harder than the other. If you just got dumped by your boyfriend, you know exactly what I mean. In fact, the only thing on your mind at the moment may be how to get your ex boyfriend to want you back. The problem with this is that you may end up doing the exact opposite of what is really going to attract him because of the stress you are under at the moment.
You see, in order to create attraction, you are going to have to remain calm and cool. It must seem like the last thing on your mind is getting back with him. You have to make him actually want you or you have no hope at all.
The worst thing you can be doing at the moment is showing him how desperate you are by harassing him with phone calls and messages. This is not how attraction works. While he may feel sorry for you and may experience some guilt, you are not going to create real attraction. In order to do that, you are going to have to play the psychological game a little. You are going to have to convince him that you are the only one he wants and that he has to be with you. The challenge is that you are going to have to do this without making it look like you are influencing the situation at all. He has to believe that he came to this conclusion himself.
What you are up against at the moment is psychology. More specifically, you are losing the psychological game that is being played out. The downward spiral started when your ex boyfriend dumped you. From that moment on, you lost most of your power to him and have been unable to get it back. Because he dumped you, he automatically gains an upper hand. That is just human nature.
But it doesn’t have to stay that way. You can turn things around rather quickly if you know what to do – if you know how to turn the psychological tables in your favor.
No matter how bad things are at the moment – no matter how many mistakes you made, you can start to get some of that power back and make your boyfriend want you back.
The first thing you are going to want to do is make sure that you don’t show any signs of desperation in his presence. If you do, he is going to know that he still has the upper hand. You also want to limit contact with him in the beginning. The more you contact him, the less power you are going to have.
In the meantime, live life to the fullest and make sure that he sees you doing it. Reconnect with all your old friends and/or make some new ones. That doesn’t mean that you have to take up with another guy, simply get out there and mingle a little. You have to make him think that he is going to lose something good if things continue the way they are. Just don’t make it look like you are doing it for his benefit. It must look natural.
When, and if, you run into him, treat him as you would any other friend. Don’t be mean, but also don’t get too close. Do not bring up the fact that you miss him or that you still love him. Remember: you are still trying to get some of that power back.
If you do things right, you should see a very positive change in your situation. You should see a more humble individual when you run into him. In time, you are also likely to see him warming up to you again. Just stand your ground, don’t move too fast, and you have a very good chance of getting your boyfriend back.
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