By Robert Ferris
No matter how you look at it, getting your girlfriend back is going to be tough. There is no sense in sugar coating it because, despite what your friends and family tell you, and despite what you read online, the fact of the matter is that you are not about to get her back in 24 hours, or without a major effort.
Why is that?
Well, one of the main reasons is that she, no doubt, took a while to come to this conclusion. There was probably a lot of soul-searching and indecision in the beginning. No doubt, she agonized over this for some time before deciding to go through with it. Even if she wanted to come back to you now, it would be difficult considering what it took to make the decision in the first place.
As crazy as it sounds, she may want to get her money’s worth.
Do you honestly think that you are going to get her to change her mind by sending a few text messages or phone calls – well, best of luck with that.
Another thing to consider is that she wants to send you a message. If you have been taking her for granted, this is her chance to make a statement. It is something you are going to take notice of and not forget. If she gives in too easy, she may not succeed in her mission. If she agrees to try again, she may not get another chance to show you that she is serious.
And then there is pressure from other people; or more accurately, what other people are going to think of her if she decides to change her mind and take you back. Not that she won’t eventually consider it, but at the moment, her reputation is on the line. She doesn’t want to look wishy-washy in front of her friends. If all it took to get her to change her mind was a few text messages, then one has to wonder how serious she was in the first place.
And that leads us to the next point: If she gives in that easily, you may think that she is playing head games, and that is the last thing she wants. Being thought of as a game player is something she is going to avoid at all costs.
Can you see why you are failing if all you can do at the moment is send her one desperate message after the other?
Yet, this is exactly what happens to most guys after a breakup. They need to put an end to the pain they are feeling and the best that they can come up with is harassing their former partner. The more rejection they experience, the more desperate they become, the more distance she puts between the two of you – it is all just a vicious circle.
If you are in a similar situation, you should know that the reason you are acting this way is because you are allowing your emotions to get the better of you. You are resorting to the basic common denominator and that is trying to convince her to give you another chance.
What you may want to try is doing the exact opposite of what she expects, or the opposite of what every other guy out there is doing. Make yourself stand out by not contacting her at all. Sure, it is going to go against your natural instincts, and every fiber of your being is going to resist, but try it anyway.
By giving her time to think and a little breathing room, you are showing her that you have self-restraint and patience. You are showing her that you are not going to fall apart because the relationship failed. You are exhibiting confidence that might just take her by surprise. In fact, if you do this right, you may just discover that she is going to start coming round and contacting you once she realizes that you are not going to be there at her beck and call.
Yes, there is a lot of psychology going on behind the scenes.