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Of course, breaking off contact with your ex was one of the hardest things you ever had to do.  However, it was also one of the wisest decisions you ever made.  As heartbreaking as it’s been, it was a necessary step that you couldn’t avoid taking. At least now you can look forward to reestablishing contact with him/her.

But what’s the protocol for getting your ex back? How do you start talking to him/her again?  How do you reestablish contact?  What sort of moves can you make now so that it doesn’t look like you’re trying to force them back into the relationship?

Here are five easy steps to reestablish contact with your ex:

1. It goes without saying that the first thing you should do is make sure that your ex is still single.  As tough as this may be to comprehend, there’s a chance that they could be with someone else.  The last thing you want to do is embarrass yourself.

2. The next step is probably the most important.  It is the initial contact that must be made in order to open the lines of communication once more.  It’s very easy to mess up here. You must make it look innocent and non-manipulative.  Keep in mind that their natural instinct is going to be not to trust you.  While phoning them may be the easiest way to get in touch, you may also want to consider sending them a quick e-mail just to say hi.  This way you’ll have time to formulate your thoughts and you won’t be under pressure to say the right thing, as with a phone call.

3. If you decide to go the e-mail route, don’t be too pushy.  Send one message and wait for a response.  Don’t expect them to greet you with open arms, but if you get any response at all, that’s a step in the right direction.  Eventually, try suggesting that you meet up in a public place just for a quick chat over coffee. It’s critical to remain friendly and not to get serious with them.  Bringing up the old relationship is definitely taboo.

4. When meeting in person for the first time after the breakup, you definitely want to make sure that you’re looking your best.  You also want to keep the atmosphere light by being friendly and charming.  It doesn’t hurt to have a somewhat aloof and carefree attitude at the same time.  Your goal here is to create attraction and desire, and you won’t do that if you tell them how much you miss them or that you still love them. Remember, keep it light.

5. Let them know that you’re okay with being friends (although you may secretly want to become romantically involved down the road).  Again, don’t bring up an old relationship because that is going to put pressure on them, and they are going to feel as though they’re being manipulated.

So there you have it.  Follow these five steps and you could be on your way to creating that much-needed attraction once more.

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