If you are wondering how to win your wife back after a separation or divorce, one thing you must realize is that many guys are able to do this without too much trouble. Think about that for a minute if you really believe that things have gone too far and you no longer have a chance. If they can do it, so can you. Having that belief in yourself is critical though – if you believe that nothing can be done about your situation at the moment, then that becomes your reality.
Okay, so we know that mental preparedness is critical, but there has to more to it than that. Well, in fact, there is – no one has ever thought themselves back into a relationship – you have to follow up a positive mental attitude with techniques that you can actually use. You have to know what to say, what not to say, how to act and how to identify moves that will surely end your marriage once and for all.
Let’s assume that you have made some bad choices and your wife is no longer talking to you. One of the first things you need to do is distance yourself from the situation before you cause any more damage. I am talking about physically removing yourself from the situation before you are tempted to make one more phone call or send one more text asking if you can talk. It is obvious that she does not want to talk and you are doing more harm by forcing the issue. So, take a vacation or go hang out with some long lost friend – anything to take your mind off her for a while.
Once you are able to do this, it is critical that you take some time to really understand where you stand and what options are available to you. Try to get a feel for why she left in the first place and take a minute to go over the bad decisions you have made since she dumped you. Don’t beat yourself up over things you have done – remember, anything is salvageable if you use the right tactics.
If you are like most other guys, one of your main problems at the moment is the fact that your wife has all the power after the breakup – and you probably gave it to her. Power can do strange things to people and, though you may think that she is going to show some compassion and understanding, she is more likely to realize how much better she can do. Don’t be shocked, this is just human nature and it is the main reason some guys are able to get their wife back after a separation or divorce – they know and understand what creates attraction.
And, really, that is what is all comes down to: You must be able to create attraction again or you have no chance. If you are racking your brain trying to think of how to get your wife back, start by creating attraction.
So how did it come to this? Well, every time you called or contacted her, you were showing her how desperate you really are. Though you may have thought it was a good idea to be persistent and show her that you were not about to give up on her, the truth is that this type of behavior is more suited to someone who is trying to romance a woman for the first time. Remember, she dumped you.
What you will find is that the guys who are able to rekindle their lost love are the ones who don’t give away their power like this. They don’t appear desperate by contacting their ex in a complete panic. They don’t become overly emotional in front of them. In a nutshell, they play their cards very close to their chest and keep their ex guessing as to how they really feel. Even if they are really hurting emotionally, their wife doesn’t know it.
Instead, they are more likely to display signs of confidence instead of desperation. This is what is needed to create real attraction again. The most you can hope to gain by begging your ex to come back is that they will feel sorry for you. Honestly, pity is the absolute last thing you want at this point.
If you can rise above what most other guys do and show some restraint and confidence, you are well on your way to creating the right atmosphere to get her back. If you can avoid acting immature and emotional, you are doing things right. If you can maintain your dignity even in the worst situations (for example, they have another man) then you are most certainly going to get their attention – in a good way. And if you think that they aren’t going to notice the mature, confident and dignified way that you are handling things, then guess again.
If the secret to getting your wife back could be condensed down to a few words, they would have to be confidence and maturity.
Men who are able to win their wife back are most certainly overflowing with these qualities. They are able to show confidence without appearing arrogant and selfish. They are able to handle themselves in such a way that ignites interest, attraction, and eventually desire in their former mate. This is basic human psychology and is bigger than any of us.
So what can you do right now, this instant, to improve your odds? Why not start by simply telling your wife that you accept the breakup and you hope that you can work things out in the future – and leave it at that. This way, you are not putting any pressure on them, you are showing a high degree of confidence and maturity, and you are leaving them to ponder the situation.
And you can bet that they are going to be doing some pondering. In fact, it is very likely that you are going to be on their mind constantly after that – in a good way.
Meanwhile, this is a perfect chance to concentrate on other things in your life. There is no sense in being miserable over something that you cannot control anyway, so you might as well make the best of it. Take up a new hobby, travel the world, finish your education – whatever you want – this is your time.
As a result of all this, there is a very good chance that you are going to get the attention of your wife. She no longer has this power over you and you have increased your value as a result. It is human nature to want what we can’t have (or that which is not readily available) In fact, don’t be surprised if she decides to call you some time soon just to see how things are going.
If that happens, it is critical that you don’t cave in and resort to your previous desperate behavior. Don’t tell her how much you miss her. Don’t tell her how much you still love her. If you do this, you will be back at square one. There will be a time and place for this, but it is much too soon. There is work to be done first.
Eventually, your goal should be to meet up with her and re-establish contact once more. The ideal situation is if she is starts contacting you, but even if she doesn’t, there are ways to get the ball rolling without making it look like you are chasing her again.
Try arranging a little “accidental” run-in with her. It should be easy enough to do this since you likely know her schedule as well as anyone. Don’t make it too obvious. Another option might be to simply send her an email or give her a quick call to see how she is doing. If you have children involved, none of this is really necessary as you are probably seeing her on a regular basis anyway.
However you re-establish contact with her, the important thing is that you casually arrange to meet at some point. This can be for any reason, even to meet for a coffee as two people who love coffee and conversation.
If you have been separated or divorced for some time, the initial meeting is going to seem surreal. As long as you don’t have any expectations, you should be fine. Remember that she is going to be on guard for any signs of an elaborate plot to get her back. And that is where your new “personality” is going shine.
She may be expecting the old personality to rear it’s ugly head and be shuddering at the fact that you are probably going to resort to pleading with her for another chance. Imagine her surprise when you show up, in an upbeat mood, not mentioning anything of the old romance. In fact, treating her as you would any other friend without the mention of anything to do with getting back together. Talk about letting the wind out of her sails.
It is important that the first meeting be short. Always appear as though you have somewhere to be and keep the meeting short. Do not mention the fact that you are still crazy about her (even though you are) and make sure to be as upbeat as possible, while still making it believable. Make her laugh, charm her, but do not blow things by getting heavy. Oh, and avoid telling her what a wretched wreck of a life you lead since she left.
Afterwards, make sure that you mention that you should both meet up again soon (that is important) – and simply leave it like that. You can bet that their head is going to be swimming with all sorts of thoughts trying to make sense of what just happened.
If you have cheated, abused her, or have done something unforgivable, this technique may not be for you. At a bare minimum, you need to have a real talk about what you did and how sorry you are for it. Perhaps, this is the perfect time to start apologizing (and meaning it) for things that you have done. In other words, you cannot have this hanging over your head while you pretend that everything is just fine.
Okay, getting back to where we were. It is important that you go slow. Even if your wife seems keen to start things up again, avoid seeming too eager. Don’t reject her, but also don’t make it too easy. You have to build interest and desire slowly.
Once you are back in the relationship, it doesn’t hurt to adopt a little of that confidence and self-esteem in order to avoid giving away your power again.
How to win your wife back after a separation
Winning your wife back after a separation should be easier than if you are already divorced. There is a good chance that your wife is simply trying to make you see what life would be like without them. Not that she is playing games, but she may need to make you understand the seriousness of the situation.
The one thing going for you at this point is that she probably still loves you very much – though she is unlikely to show it.
If you are separated, apologize for things that you did and tell her why they won’t happen again. Give her some time to think about things. Make sure that you don’t smother her with phone calls and messages as it is only going to make things worse for you. This is going to show a high level of maturity and confidence and will certainly do more for you than resorting to desperate behavior.
Don’t be surprised if she comes around quickly in a case like this and wants to give it another go.
How to win your wife back after divorce
Okay, now this is a little trickier because she has literally said that she wants the marriage over. Any woman that files for divorce is likely serious and not playing games. She has probably come to the conclusion that there is no chance at all for the two of you. It can be a little hard to overcome something like that.
The advice given so far is ideal in a situation like this, but be prepared for a bit of a tougher challenge. Anyone who has already written you off has nothing to lose and you may find that getting their attention is going to be the hardest part. After all, they likely went through an incredibly emotional ordeal the first time and they are going to be a little gun-shy. In fact, it may require much more time and effort.
One of the best ways to get the ball rolling again is to contact her just to see if she will meet you for a coffee and talk about a few things that should have been said a long time ago. Hint: this is a perfect time to apologize for things you have done. Keep in mind that she may agree to meet without much effort if a fair amount of time has passed and the bad feelings have subsided.
If you are lucky, you may both enjoy yourselves – chatting for the first time in a long time. She may even be reminded of why she fell in love with you in the first place. As before, keep the meeting short and try your best to find a way to keep in touch without making it look like you are trying to manipulate her. This is going to require your long game here and is not something that you want to try if you are short on patience. In fact, you may want to become real friends first – and that could last for some time.
Whatever method you chose, you should remember that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to the question of, how to get your wife back. Everyone’s situation is different. Just keep in mind that as long as you are communicating with her and treating each other with respect, you have a chance to rekindle that lost love.
Just one more thing: though you may no longer be wondering how to get your wife back, you may still not be able to pull this off because you don’t know the exact steps to take. Don’t beat yourself up over this – it can be complicated.
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