In Their Shoes

Your partner dumped you. You can’t stop contacting him/her. Eventually, they cut off contact completely and now they want nothing to do with you. They seem angry – like they suddenly hate you. But how can that be? but you’ve done nothing wrong. How can this be happening?

In order to understand where your ex is coming from, maybe you have to put yourself in their shoes first. And that’s exactly what we’re going to do right now with 2 scenarios:

1. You’re in a long term relationship. You live with your partner. Most of the initial spark is gone from the relationship, though you still love them. You realize that it’s just the way some relationships go and accept that it isn’t always going to be amazing. No one can maintain that same level of attraction over the years.

But lately, you feel a little lost and not sure where your life is going. Every day seems to be a carbon copy of the previous. You used to have engaging conversations, and now, you know exactly what is going to come out of your partner’s mouth before they do. You talk about the same things, over and over. Intimacy is non-existent – and when it does happen, it is the same old thing every single time.

Your partner’s stupid habits are about to send you over the edge. Not that there is anything wrong with the way they do things, but lately, every move they make just annoys the hell out of you. You want to scream. You want to run. You want to drop everything and just escape.

Not a good situation.

You decide that life is too short. Not only are you denying yourself a better life, but you could be holding your ex back from doing the same. You know it’s going to be tough, but after agonizing over it for weeks, you decide to break it off.

The initial guilt is overwhelming. You can’t face your ex because of what you’ve done. You second guess every move you make. You’re hurting and wonder if you’re doing the right thing. You hatch a plan to turn it around and tell your ex you’ll try again. Yet, deep down you know nothing is going to change. You are going to fall right back into the same exact situation.

You stand your ground…

Meanwhile, your ex is going through their own personal hell. You can sense this and it’s making you feel like crap. After all, it’s all down to you, isn’t it?

Your ex won’t give up. Your phone is going off every few minutes. Your text messages are backing up. They are frantic and it’s all your fault.

After a few days of this, you decide to take action and ignore them, hoping it will stop. You begin to detest the fact that they won’t leave you alone. You can’t function normally because your phone is going off or you have an urgent email that just came through. Your in-box is full of messages pleading with you to just talk.

But you have nothing to say. You aren’t going to change your mind.

It’s at this point that you wonder how in the world you managed to stay with such a weak individual. Such desperation and neediness – not at all the person you fell in love with way back when. This behavior re-enforces your will to see this through. Though you had your doubts in the beginning, you can tell that you made the right decision.

Eventually, you decide to confront your ex and ask to be left alone, even though you can feel the effect this is having on your ex. You have to trudge on and pretend not to care.

You don’t want to hurt them, you just want to be left alone.

2. The second scenario is that you don’t hear from your ex at all. You dumped them, they acknowledged the breakup and you didn’t hear from them again. You’re hurting and you miss them as days turn into weeks and weeks into months. It feels as though your ex has truly moved on.

In the weeks following the breakup, you may suddenly realize that you have been a little too harsh. You miss your ex like crazy, but it may be too late. You’d do anything to talk to them right now…

As time goes on, you see them getting on with their life. You admire that – and the fact that they didn’t turn to mush after the breakup. You didn’t expect this kind of strength as you feel an uncontrollable urge to be with them again. You wish you could turn back time.

Can you see how different both these situations are? Where would you prefer to be? Makes you think about how you are handling things at the moment, doesn’t it?

I know you’re hurting. But being needy and appearing desperate is not the way you want to be perceived – and it is not the way to get your ex back. Wouldn’t you rather bask in the glow of scenario number two than be subjected to the stress and pain of scenario number one?

Certainly a lot to think about. Change your tactics and change your outcome – it’s as simple as that.

Easy to say, right? But not so easy in real life. That’s why you might want to consider getting the Text Your Ex Back System.