The last thing you likely want to hear at this point is that everything will be alright. How many times have you heard that recently? Well, you can’t really fault people for trying to make you feel better – undoubtedly, the people who love you are simply trying to help you through this. But is what they are saying true? Will things actually get better? Will you be able to repair your relationship and get your ex back?
The truth is that even though they may be simply trying to cheer you up by saying that you have a good chance at getting your loved one back (and may not really believe it themselves) they are probably not too far off from the truth. It is possible to get back together with an ex, but it won’t happen anytime soon.
Right now, you need time apart. Though this may be the last thing you really want, it is critical that you allow some time apart. Nothing you say, or do at this point is going to make things better. In fact, if you are unable to leave your ex alone for a while, you may find out the hard way that you can dig a hole for yourself from which you may never escape. By the way, this is the number one reason most breakups wind up being permanent.
Taking some time away from your ex is a good idea for many reasons. It immediately tells them that you are more confident and secure than they gave you credit for (this, in itself, can increase desire), and you will also have time to think about things. Believe it or not, it may be to your advantage not to pursue your ex if there have been major problems in the relationship. Sometimes, having the foresight to see things like this can be a godsend.
But, lets concentrate on actually getting your ex back.
Once you have allowed time for things to cool off, and you’ve each had time to calm down a little, you will want to gradually reestablish contact. If you’ve made all the right moves, the time away has actually increased his/her desire for you. Because you refused to allow your emotions to take control and beg and plead for them to come back to you, you’ve upped your perceived value in their eyes. That is just human nature – don’t fight it, just use it to your advantage.
Give your ex a call just to see how they are doing. If you were mature about the breakup and you didn’t make some desperate attempt to get him/her back, then there is a good chance that they will agree to meet you.
You have to remember that this is going to take time. If you are too anxious to get things started again, you are most certainly going to fail. Patience is key here.
Try to meet up for a coffee and make sure that you behave yourself. Treat them as you would any other person. In fact, if you can be charming and slightly aloof at the same time, then you are well on your way to creating the proper atmosphere. You don’t want to appear desperate at any time – this will kill your chances permanently.
Keep the meeting short. Tell them you have somewhere to be. Any conversation should be light and casual. Do not get serious and do not bring up the old relationship. Try to charm them instead of bringing up old memories of the failed relationship. What did you do to charm them the first time you started dating? If you can repeat that, you will be on your way to creating attention, interest, and desire. That is what will create the right atmosphere to reunite, not some desperate plea to get them to change their mind. It must be their decision – they must want to have you back at a very emotional level. If you understand this principle of what it really takes to create desire, you’ll know that it is the only way.
It is possible to get back together with an ex – it happens every day with people who understand how the game is played after the split. Click Here for a video that will put things in perspective for you and give you some tools you can use right now to help get your ex back.