No matter who you are, or what your story is, you can be sure of one thing if you have recently been dumped:
You just want to be left alone – at least for a little while.
After all, you’ve just been through a major event. A major loss in your life that could be the worst thing you’ve had to deal with in some time.
But you’re the only one who knows how deeply this is affecting you.
To your friends and family, you may just look depressed and in need of some moral support and maybe someone to talk to. However, in reality, the last thing you want to do is interact with anyone. There are several reasons for this:
You don’t want anyone seeing you in this state.
You don’t want to be told that everything is going to be alright.
You don’t want to forget your ex or stop thinking about the breakup. Even though it is wreaking havoc on your emotional state right now.
You don’t want to be surrounded by happy people.
Just because you are surrounded by people doesn’t mean that you are going to suddenly forget your troubles and start enjoying yourself. At least that’s how it is with me.
It’s amazing how some people just don’t get that. Instead, they are intent on dragging you out to forget about your problems.
I’ll admit that I’ve been the friend that is insistent on helping out someone in “need.” Completely forgetting the fact that they are hurting and they need space – they don’t need to be around other people.
Most of us already know what it’s like to be deeply hurt by a relationship that turns sour, yet for some reason, we can’t understand what our best friend is going through when we are trying to “help” them take their mind off the situation. Funny how that works…
So, why do we need some space in the days following a breakup?
Well, as someone who has experienced this many times, I can tell you that after breaking up with someone, I don’t want to do anything but sit quietly, by myself and think. I know that’s probably not the best thing to do, but I personally need this time to mourn my loss. If I don’t get it, then it takes longer to get back on my feet.
I don’t enjoy this time. In fact, it’s pure torture. However, it’s also something that I have to get out of the way before I can continue. I have to spend this time alone to purge. Hard to explain, really.
And when people take it upon themselves to “cheer me up,” well I usually end up having to be a little forceful when I decline so they know I’m serious.
It’s your life. You know, deep down, what to do. Don’t let anyone deny you that.