In almost every case, friends and family like to help anyone who has just gone through a breakup. That is all well and good, but you have to take some of that help with a grain of salt and you have to prevent them from getting too involved with your personal life. Thought they may feel that they are doing you a favor, they can be the source of unneeded grief.
It is natural that the people who are closest to you are going to want to help, but sometimes you don’t need to have your ex on the receiving end of their wrath. In a situation like this, you are best to simply tell your friends and family to steer clear of your ex. If you really want to get him/her back, the last thing you want to do is create any hard feelings between those closest to you and your former partner.
If you ever manage to get them back, you want to make sure that there is no long term damage done because they are going to be a part of your family again at some point. Imagine how difficult it is going to be if someone said something that was particularly nasty, thinking that they were just sticking up for you and that they would never see this person again? It could be a little embarrassing, to say the least.
The other thing you have to think about is how this is going to harm your relationship with your friends and family if they start putting your ex down, only to have to backtrack when the relationship is restored. Could you forgive someone who said some nasty things about your mate during the split? While you know that they are only saying these things to show solidarity with you during your time of need, the things they say could stay at the back of your mind for a long time.
The bottom line is that you are going to want to maintain some neutrality after the breakup. Avoid venting on people and bad mouthing your ex because this is going to lead to them acting in the same way as a form of support. You may find that they are going to tell you what they really think of your ex, and it may not be nice. Sometimes they just say things to make you feel better without thinking that it could come back to haunt them.
It is one thing to confide in a trusted friend, but something else to broadcast your predicament to your entire group of friends. Who needs more complication in their life?
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