The funny thing about breaking up with someone is that they are still with you long after the actual split (in your head anyway). And it seems to be true no matter how badly they treated you. For some reason, we just seem to ignore the negatives and obsess about the positives.
This can be a little problematic in the weeks and months after a breakup because you are literally putting your life on hold. The last thing you want to do is meet someone new. Why? Well, because they aren’t your ex.
Right now, you’re hurting and the only thing that is going to make it right is to get your ex back. If another person is introduced into the picture, it probably won’t end well.
This new person is not going to live up to your ex – not even close. The conversations you have, the way they kiss, touch, make love, etc. No matter how great they are, you are going to feel unfulfilled in almost every aspect.
You need time to heal – and it can’t be rushed.
Your emotions are still tied up and you aren’t able to accept anyone else until you’re free of the hold your ex has on you. Period.
Personally, I’ve tried this many times and it’s never worked out. Even though you would think that the best thing to do would be to meet someone else, I’ve been unable to detach myself from the previous relationship in order to open myself up to this new person.
Maybe it’s impossible for people to be emotionally tied to more than one person at a time. Yes, I’m actually beginning to believe that.
And it really is a shame because you could be missing out in a big way. While you’re still clinging to memories and idealizing your ex, someone even better could be slipping through your fingers – all because you are able to open up emotionally.
And the real kicker is that, in most cases, you’re looking at your ex through rose colored glasses anyway – building them up in your mind to be much more than they really are. Ignoring the negatives and concentrating only on the positives.
But no one is going to make you see the light. I can tell you that while I’m in the “rose colored glasses” stage, I simply don’t want to think of anyone but my ex. Much to the frustration of friends who try to get me out meeting new people.
There is only one thing that is going to fix this.
Nothing else is going to do it – sorry.
Try as you might, you just can’t move on until you’ve cleared the slate…