Recently Dumped? What to do When You have Mutual Friends

If you’ve managed to stop contacting your ex, you’re well ahead of the game – at least in contrast to most other people.  But it really is harder than it looks.  The problem you may have right now is that you can’t stop thinking about them, even though you know staying away is for the best.

Obviously, there are going to be certain things that remind you of your ex and the relationship. Whether it’s a familiar place you both used to frequent, or a mutual setting, such as school or work.  

One of the toughest challenges you’re going to have is relating to mutual friends you shared as a couple.  The problem here is that they may be good friends that you don’t want to ignore.  Eventually, you’re going to run into them at some point.  This can be a little difficult emotionally since they may remind you of your ex every time you see them.  You may also be curious as to how your ex is doing, and what they’re up to. Questions best left unanswered.

This can put your friends in a very difficult situation, since they don’t want to be telling tales out of school.  They likely feel loyalty to both of you, equally.

You don’t have many choices when it comes to this.  Basically, you can either tolerate the situation and try not to bring up your ex’s name, stop seeing your friends, or embrace the situation and eventually become friends with your ex as well.  A lot of tough choices there.

First and foremost on your mind will probably be whether you can handle the emotional strain if you decide to become friends with your ex and keep your group of friends.  One thing you need to consider is the fact that they may actually start seeing someone else – maybe even someone from that group of friends.  Even if they start seeing a complete stranger, there’s a good chance they’ll become part of the group eventually.  Can you carry on with life as normal in this instance?

Before you dismiss the entire thing, keep in mind that your ex may make a better friend than you think.  If you accept the fact that the relationship is over, you may be surprised at how easily you become friends.  And even emotionally traumatic things like them having someone else could be tolerable.

Of course, this is going to take some time. If you feel you can’t handle being around your ex and your mutual friends, it may be a good idea to simply avoid them for the time being.  Get yourself together emotionally, and then reestablish contact.  Time has a way of fixing even the most emotional situations.

So keep your ex in mind, but vow to get on with your life for the time being.  Get out there, socialize, and make new friends.  It’s a whole big world out there.

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