Okay, so what do I mean by renting space in your ex’s head? Well, simply put, you want to have them thinking about you after the breakup. In fact, you want them to obsess about you even if they don’t want to acknowledge that they are obsessing about you. In order to do this, you are going to have to be very cool and calm about things in the aftermath of the breakup. Needless to say, confidence is going to play a huge role.
If you are able to make your ex think about you without making it look like you are trying, you are going to be off to a good start. If they think, even for a second, that you are intentionally doing things to manipulate the situation, then you are going to fail.
One thing you do not want to do is underestimate your former partner’s ability to see through you. This is possibly one of the biggest mistakes people make after a breakup. The bottom line is that you have to almost believe it yourself if you want to convince them that it is the real deal.
One example of this is when you simply start doing your own thing and you act as though you are perfectly fine. This is an incredibly powerful tactic for many reasons, but it is only effective if you are able to convince your ex that you are really acting genuine. If they suspect that it is all act for their benefit, you are not going to go far – in fact, you are going to damage your credibility with them permanently.
Now, one problem people have with acting like they don’t care is that they don’t want their ex to think that they don’t care. Can you see where the problem lies? You are so worried about offending your ex and “losing them” for good, you fail to do the one thing that is going to create the interest and attraction that you need to get your relationship back. That one thing is to take away their power over you by simply getting on with your life and making it look as genuine as possible.
Oftentimes, it is not what you say that makes a bigger impact, it is what you don’t say. If you concentrate on your own life, you are going to steal back some of that power you gave up right after the split. If you make it look like it is no big deal, you are going to get their attention – that is simple human nature. They are going to be wondering why you are not phoning and texting. They are going to wonder why you aren’t begging them to come back. They are going to wonder what they are doing wrong. And that, my friend, is going to put you in the driver’s seat. They are going to be obsessed with you – not the other way around. In short, you are going to be renting space in their head.
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