Resisting The Urge to Hate Your Ex

Your ex dumped you and is now acting as though the relationship meant nothing. You are being treated like a second class citizen and they actually seem happy to be free of you. Your messages are going unanswered and it’s obvious that they want nothing to do with you.

At least that’s what you’re seeing.

It’s a little hard to take, especially when you think about how inseparable the two of you were at one point. The closeness you once shared, the love you both felt – all gone. It’s as if the relationship never happened – like it was all in your head. You scramble to remember the good times, finding it hard to believe that you were ever close at all.

All the while, your ex is getting on with their life – and apparently having a fun time doing it.

It’s enough to make you hate them. But here’s why you might want to resist that urge:

First of all, you are going to poison your whole outlook on life. This is a time to be discovering new things and experiencing life on your own again. The last thing you want to be doing is sending out negative vibes because you hate your ex so much.

And hating someone really will poison your whole outlook and affect others around you.

Lets take the example of road rage. Now road rage is something I think we can all relate to. It happens even if one is not looking for it. It affects you negatively, even if you aren’t in a direct confrontation with another driver. All it takes is for someone to cut you off, give you the horn, etc.

Now, have you ever really stopped and analyzed how you feel just moments after an incident like that? If you’re like me, I bet you can almost feel the negativity and hate coursing through your veins. Personally, it leaves me feeling physically drained.

Now, when something like that happens, it doesn’t go away quickly. Many times I have let it affect the rest of my day. That’s not a good thing because you are going to be sending out negative vibes to everyone you come into contact with. Humans are really good at picking up on this sort of thing. Even if you don’t say anything, your foul mood is going to speak for you.

No one likes to be around a person like that because it makes them feel bad. Or worse, it makes them feel self-conscious – like they have done something wrong or there is something wrong with them.

Want proof of that? Okay, have you ever just left the house in the morning in an amazing mood and noticed how nice everyone is to you and how easy it is to talk to people? Well, that’s no coincidence and it all started with your mood. You really can affect those around you by how you feel.

So, if you’ve been dumped and you have no option but to trudge forward, don’t do it while holding a grudge – it’s only going to hurt you. The good news is that as time goes on, the effort required to not hate your ex is going to diminish.


Another reason not to hate your ex? Well, what if he/she’s not over you? What if they secretly want you back, but just need a bit of time. If you hate your ex, you’re undoubtedly going to do things that will ruin it for you in the long term. Start treating him/her like trash and you can forget any chance you had at reconciliation. Instead, a smart thing to do would be to make yourself scarce for awhile, then initiate contact – for example, via text. Here is a video that explains it.