There is no doubt that you are facing an uphill battle when it comes to getting your ex back – and one of the worst things you have to face is the fact that he/she is not listening to you. If they are not listening to you, you don’t stand much of a chance of getting them back.
So, why aren’t they listening to you? Well, there is a good chance that they don’t want to talk about getting back together and just assume that this is what you are trying to do.
What you have to realize is that they are not likely to open up the channels of communication at the moment. This is not the right time if that is what you are working towards. Right now, their guard is up and you are not going to be able to overcome this. They are thinking way ahead of you and anticipating what your next move is going to be. If you are trying to get them to talk to you, they are going to assume that you are trying to talk them back into the relationship.
If you have listened to any advice at all, whether online or from your friends, you are going to notice that one of the underlying themes is going to be to give your ex some space and leave them alone for a while immediately following the breakup. That is great advice for all of the above reasons.
If you are smart and you are already taking this advice, then you are on your way to getting your ex back. You have taken the critical first step and you are mature enough to know that following your emotions is not always in your best interests. This is also a good time to contemplate the situation and try to think of the right words once you do start talking again.
Once you do start talking to your ex, you can’t come off as desperate. You have to show them a mature you – someone who is able to cope with things as they are. You cannot keep asking them to try again because you are going to end up back at square one. If you do this, nothing you say is going to be taken seriously – it is going to look like a ploy to get them back. You have to act as though getting them back is the furthest thing from your mind. Remember, they are going to be on guard, the slightest hint of ulterior motives and they are going to be gone.
For now, you are going to have to convince them that you simply want to be friends. Yes, it is true that sometimes friends can never become intimate, but you have one thing going for you: the fact that you have been intimate at one point in time – at least you know it is possible. For now, being friends means that you are going to be able to keep in touch with them. You are going to be able to stay in their lives – and there is a lot to be said for that. If you don’t maintain some kind of contact with them, it is inevitable that time is going to make them forget about you. That is the way it is.
By the way, being friends does not mean that you are going to take advantage of the first chance you have to get intimate with your ex. In fact, you should simply act indifferent to the prospect of getting back together and concentrate on being a true friend for the moment. This is going to put them off guard like nothing else. In fact, you may even force them to make a move on you if they think that they have lost the chance to be with you romantically.
As long as you don’t start bringing up the old relationship and telling them how much you miss them, how much you love them, and how sorry you are for everything, you are going to be okay. Rise above all that and make a vow to be a new person. Show your ex that new person and start a new relationship from scratch.
Here is some professional advice on how to get your ex back.