For most folks, getting an ex back after a breakup is a pipe dream. Though they would love nothing better than to be reunited with their loved one, they see it slipping away before their eyes and there is nothing they can do about it. I am sure that we have all been there at some point.
What most people don’t realize is that there are a series of steps that have to be completed (in order) if they want any chance of getting their ex back. It is not as easy as simply phoning and texting until they agree to meet with you. The first meeting after a breakup is very important – do you want them to meet with you so you will stop harassing them, or do you want them to meet because they really want to see you?
Here are the steps:
Before you do anything, you have to identify what you are doing wrong. Sounds simple enough, but many folks fail to see where they are going wrong and then wonder why they have not been making any progress (or why they are making things a whole lot worse). You are making mistakes – stop and think about what they are.
In the next step, you are going to break off contact with your ex – just temporarily. This is going to be hard and it is something that many are not able to do. In fact, it may be one of the mistakes you listed in the previous paragraph. If there is one thing that is going to give you some bargaining power, it is this. By breaking off contact, you are telling them that you are not going to be there, at their beck and call. You are telling them that you are not going to start acting desperate and needy. This is going to give you some psychological power and you are not going to feel so helpless.
Next, you are going to have to get out of your doldrums and find things to occupy your time. The worst thing you can be doing at the moment is hanging around your home feeling sorry for yourself. It is the perfect time to call up an old friend and get out in public again. Or you can start up an old or new hobby. Whatever you decide to do, make sure that you do it with other people if at all possible. This is the best way to forget about your ex and get back into the swing of things again.
Practice your conversation and social skills. Now that you are single, life is going to be a little different. It is a great time to expand your social circle – and one of the best ways to do that is to meet as many people as possible. No one is going to turn you away because you are trying to talk to them. Some may be a little busy and politely excuse themselves, but very few are going to condemn you because you introduce yourself. The one thing that prevents people from doing this is shyness and having a fear of rejection. However, if you were to look deeper, you may discover that people you attempt to talk to are just as insecure as you are – maybe even more so.
Try to attend as many social events as you can. This is going to get you out of your comfort zone and give you lots of practice talking to new people. Who knows? One of them may eventually become a good friend. The bottom line is that you are not going to meet anyone if you are holed up in your apartment.
Lastly, once some time has passed and you have your emotions under control, contact your ex through email or text and ask them how they are doing. It is important that you don’t carry over some of the previous desperation (and you can bet that they are going to be expecting that). Instead, be calm and cool and try to concentrate on other topics besides your failed relationship. This is not a time to bring up how much you miss them or that you still have feelings for him/her. Keep it light and show them the person they fell in love with all those years ago.
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