Should you really try talking to your ex after a breakup? Isn’t that one of the worst things you could be doing at the moment? Well, yes, for most people, staying in contact with your ex after they dumped you can cause irreparable damage to your relationship (or whatever is left of it), but if you approach it a certain way, you can set the stage for a reconciliation in the coming weeks. Of course, you can’t do it like 99% of the people do.

First of all, you should know that the reason most individuals shouldn’t stay in contact with their ex is because they don’t have control over their emotions. They are frantic to get their ex back by any means possible and this reflects in the actions they take. Incessant texting and phone calls, begging the other person to reconsider, are typical behaviors of someone who has nothing to lose and simply can’t get their emotions under control.

Needless to say, if this is the best you can come up with, you are going to be better off simply staying away.

However, for those who can control their feelings and approach their ex in a calm manner, there is a great opportunity to lay some groundwork and start working on reversing the breakup.

Think maturity, integrity, confidence, and self-esteem. These are all the desirable character traits that you are going to want to work on before you actually sit down and talk to them.

Arrange to meet him/her for a coffee or lunch just to talk. Though they may agree to meet you, they are going to be expecting you to try and talk them out of breaking up and will approach it with lots of skepticism. This is almost guaranteed.

This is where you throw them for a loop and really catch them off guard. They will be expecting you to be moping around, depressed and lost. They will be expecting you to beg and plead for another chance. They will be expecting to have to argue with you.

Instead, you should approach them as though nothing special is going on. You should be in a good mood and smile when you see them (even though you don’t want to). Tell them that you accept the breakup and you don’t want any hard feelings. Do not get intimate by telling them you still love them. In fact, don’t even talk about the relationship and steer the conversation towards other topics.

Make them laugh, charm them, and shy away from displaying any emotions. Act with confidence and maturity. Lastly, make it obvious that you have somewhere to be and wish them the best.

If you can pull this off, you are going to rock their world. Everything they assumed about you will have been proven wrong in a matter of a half hour.

And if you don’t think you will be on their mind after the meeting, then guess again.

What you are doing here is planting seeds to eventually create interest, attraction and desire. In fact, you are already well on your way to creating interest.

If the meeting went well, your next move is to start implementing a real plan to get them back. You can find one HERE.

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