Although it may feel as though no one has ever experienced the pain you are feeling at the moment, the fact of the matter is that dealing with a breakup or getting dumped is something that most people are forced to handle at some point in their life. Very few of us are able to escape that.
If you are completely lost at the moment, perhaps you will take comfort in the fact that there are certain stages that almost everyone goes through after a breakup. Knowing what the stages are may make you feel a little better about your own personal hardship at the moment. Besides, it is going to help to know where you are currently and what you can expect if you want to turn this around in the future.
Stage one – The first stage is when it actually hits you. You have been dumped. This acknowledgment is necessary if you want to move on. Remaining in a state of denial is not going to help you. Though you may feel completely lost, your emotions are at an all time high, and you are barely able to function, getting through this first stage is your first step to healing.
At this point, you probably don’t know what to do, your emotions are a mess and you feel miserable. But, even if you haven’t got a clue about what moves to make next, you have taken a very important step already.
Stage two – This is the emotional stage where you let it all out. Cry, stomp your feet, scream – or isolate yourself from everyone – whatever it takes to get it out of your system. For some people, this is a time where they want to be left alone. On the other hand, others may want to be around friends and family – it depends on your personality and individual situation. A word of warning though: Don’t allow this to go on for too long. If you haven’t left your bedroom in a week, then you may be at risk of other problems, such as depression.
Also, whatever you do, don’t contact your ex and take it out on them. This is a sure way to kill the relationship permanently.
Stage three – This is where you take time to heal. Contact some good friends that can offer their support and comfort. Your emotions should begin to subside by now and you are ready to start mixing with people again. A good friend can really make a difference at this stage. Though you may still be thinking about the relationship and your ex, carousing with people you are close to should help to take your mind off things.
Stage four – By this time, you should be getting back to normal and it may be time to think about doing things that you like and things that will benefit you instead of lamenting about a relationship that may, or may not, be over for good. No one else is going to do this for you. You are in charge of your destiny and you owe it to yourself to make the most of it. Go back to school, get a better job, get that promotion, learn some new skills, take up a new hobby – self improvement is never wasted.
Stage five – This is a time for reflection and looking at the big picture. It is also a time for acceptance for most people. Do you still have feelings for your ex? Do you have a chance to get them back? Or should you start thinking about moving on? This can be a very pivotal time for most folks and the decisions made here can truly shape their future.
Fortunately, you have had enough time to get over your emotions and any decisions you make now are going to be made logically and not because you are still obsessed with your ex. Strangely enough, what you want now could be entirely different than what you craved immediately following the split.