Getting dumped can be a very traumatic thing – and it can leave you desperate for a solution. A solution that will fix the relationship and allow you to get on with your life. In the days following a breakup, all kinds of ideas may come to you.
But that’s what we humans do – we find solutions to our problems. We agonize over situations until we can think of the best course of action. Oftentimes, what we come up with just plain sucks. Yet, at the time, it can seem like a stroke of genius.
High emotion is not your friend at a time like this and it can skew your thoughts.
Have you ever been dumped and turned around and continued to harass your ex with texts and phone calls until something bad happened? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. But in most cases, if you continue to do this, eventually, they won’t be able to take it anymore. You may get into a huge argument. They might tell you how happy they are to be free of you. Then they end up calling you a loser and telling you to leave them alone… Ughh.
Sound familiar? Well, that’s what can happen when you allow your emotions to take hold and make your decisions for you.
But not all your ideas are bad. How about the scheme you concocted where you tried to make your ex jealous? What? It didn’t work out the way you planned? Well, maybe it’s the way you approached it.
Using jealousy can be a very powerful technique, but there are a few things you need to know.
First and foremost, you have to know if your ex still has feelings for you. If they absolutely can’t stand the sight of you anymore, then trying to make them jealous is not going to work. They are going to welcome the fact that you found someone else and that you won’t be harassing them anymore. Figure this out first and move on if they really do despise you that much.
All you need is a little attraction though. If they have any feelings for you at all, this could work out well.
You’re not convincing
Now, one of the reasons your previous attempt may have backfired is because your ex really didn’t believe you. You weren’t convincing enough and they saw right through you.
You have to realize that the average person is way more perceptive than you think. Humans can sense things. They can deduce things. They can figure out if they’re getting bullshitted without too much trouble.
If you’re trying to make your ex jealous by parading your new fling in front of them, it isn’t going to work. Try to look at it from their vantage point. You have been dumped. You’re hurting and desperate. You find someone (anyone) that you can use to make it look like you’ve moved on. It’s obvious that you went out of your way to make sure you were seen together. So blatantly obvious…
In order for your ex to think that you are seeing someone else, you have to give the illusion that you aren’t trying. You have to be so low-key that they start second guessing themselves and creating scenarios in their head. In other words, you have to give the impression that you are getting on with your life – for real.
The number one rule is to not go out of your way to show your ex that you’re getting on with things. They are going to find out on their own through friends, etc. You needn’t worry about that.
The next thing you should know is that you probably don’t have to actually have a new girlfriend/boyfriend. After all, it wouldn’t be fair to that person if all you’re trying to do is make your ex jealous.
Remember what I said about being low-key. All you have to do is plant a tiny seed of doubt and your ex’s imagination is going to take care of the rest. That is, if they still have any feelings for you at all.
You can do this simply by being seen with someone (a potential love interest or even a friend) in public. Get out there and have coffee or lunch with a friend or friends. The key is to get out and socialize. Don’t worry about asking someone out because just being seen with other people should be enough.
Suffice it to say that you shouldn’t be contacting your ex during this time.
It has to look as though you’re getting on with life.