What do you have to lose if you contact your ex after a breakup?
Well, a lot, if it’s anything more than a few words. In fact, the fewer the words, the better.
I know, I know – all you want to do right now is communicate with your ex and try to fix this horrible situation. You’d give anything to find the right words to convince him/her to reconsider. In fact, the urge to open up a dialogue may be overwhelming.
And you’re willing to do this even though you know, deep down, that it’s the worst decision you can make.
Truly, it’s a battle between your emotional and your logical side. And not many of us have the discipline to do what’s right (and that is to cut off contact). We can’t see beyond our immediate needs and start thinking long term. Even though you know that the more contact there is, the worse it’s going to get, many of us just can’t help ourselves.
One of the main reasons could be that we think we have nothing to lose. I mean, how much worse can it get, right? Well, you’d be surprised at how much worse it can get.
You have a lot to lose – even though you may not think so.
At this point in time, you likely haven’t said anything or done anything that is going to mean zero chance of reconciliation in the future. Yes, there may be bad feelings and you may have said things that you regret, but you haven’t burned your bridges, so to speak. You have a chance as long as you cut off communication.
Keep this in mind: There is nothing you can say now to improve your situation. There are simply no words. Your ex does not want to hear from you. The more you try, the more of a nuisance you are going to become. Do you really want your ex looking at you as some nuisance they desperately want to get rid of? C’mon, have a little bit of self-respect…
The number one thing you have to lose right now is power. With every text message, email, phone call you make, you are giving your ex more power over you. There is literally a transfer of power going on as long as you keep up contact. Eventually, there is going to be nothing left and you’ll have no chance of ever making this right.
It isn’t a coincidence that most of the better “Get Your Ex Back” courses advocate establishing a period of no contact in the beginning. Because, no matter how good the course is, nothing can be done until you implement this for a period of time.
For at least 2 weeks to a month, you want nothing to do with your ex. It is a time of high emotion and things can easily spiral out of control. You are going to grate on your ex’s nerves and that could lead to unexpected behavior on their part (outbursts, etc.).
Overall, not a good idea.
Do you have what it takes to cut off contact for a month? Well, that’s something that few of us really know until we’re in the thick of things.