It hit you like a hard slap in the face. In fact, you couldn’t believe it at first. It was something so unlikely, so unimaginable that you didn’t acknowledge the words as they were spoken and it took a few seconds for it to really sink in. Is this a joke, you wonder…
As your brain struggles to catch up with the words, you realized that your partner just called it quits. You’ve been dumped and it doesn’t appear that there is any way back. You can tell they aren’t about to be talked into changing their minds.
Yes, your world can come crashing down around you if your partner decides to call it quits – especially if it comes without warning. One minute you’re living your life as usual, and the next, you’re struggling to hold it together as your emotions boil over.
But it’s really all about the seconds after the bad news, isn’t it? The way you handle yourself. The way you treat your ex. The first words to come out of your mouth. It matters – a lot…
First of all, no matter how devastated you are, you’ll want to compose yourself. Regroup and think about your next move. Relationships have been lost in the first seconds after someone getting dumped because of how they reacted.
It’s during this time that you have the most to lose. You can give away all your power without even realizing what is going on.
The minute you show emotion, you are heading down the wrong path. This is not a time to tell your ex how much you love them, or to try and fix things. It’s not that easy. If you think it is, then you are in for a world of hurt.
If you do cave in like this, you are positioning yourself very poorly for what is going to come up in the coming days and weeks.
Instead of giving in to your emotions, what if you simply acknowledged the breakup and left the scene without any indication of your mental state? There will be loads of opportunity to cry your eyes out in the coming days, but you don’t have to let your ex see it. In fact, the less they know, the better.
Nothing works as fast on one’s imagination than incomplete facts.
They’ll be wondering what the heck is going on if you don’t show emotion. And this is going to work in your favor.
They won’t be thinking that you miss them. Nope, instead, they are going to be wondering if you ever loved them at all. That’s a good thing as long as you can keep it up. Sadly, most don’t and it is a slippery slope downward from that point if you’re highly emotional. Before you know it, your ex will be treating you like a second class citizen. So much for caring, right?
But, if you can keep up that nonchalant image, they are certainly going to be wondering what is wrong with them and whether they made a good choice in dumping you. In fact, you’re going to start looking like quite a catch – all without doing anything!
You will project confidence and maturity because you didn’t fold. You are showing strength because you refused to allow yourself to be consumed by emotion. That is highly desirable – whether you are male or female.
All this without doing a single thing! Wow…
But, you have to nail it first thing. You have to have this stand-offish attitude from the get-go. If you show any emotion in the beginning, you have cast your mold. Nothing you do will change that – or at least, it’s going to be very, very hard.
If you’ve already gone down that road, you can turn it around. It isn’t going to be as easy because you already caved in once, but it is doable.
And you can start by using this method.