Your ex-girlfriend dumped you and you’re devastated. Okay that goes without saying. But what you didn’t expect was the way she’s treating you right now, at this very moment. I mean, you’ve really done nothing wrong, yet she’s treating you like some sort of subhuman. Strangers get a warmer response then you. If you’re looking for any sort of compassion or you’re trying to make sense of things, something like this can drive you crazy.
Don’t get too down on yourself. Because what you’re witnessing now is really a self protection mechanism that she’s using to soften the blow. No one is going to turn off their feelings just like that. The last thing you want to be doing right now is taking things personally. I know you’ve done nothing to deserve this attitude, but if you stop for a second and think about the reasoning behind it, you may realize that things aren’t always what they seem.
However, right here, right now, this is something you have to deal with. Though you may know the reasoning behind her behavior, it doesn’t make it any better for your state of mind. If you’re trying to get through her rough exterior at the moment, give yourself a break and back off a little. This isn’t making it easier for anyone. You have to have faith that things are going to get better. You have to have faith that this is not the real her coming through. You have to know that it’s all down to high emotions.
Needless to say, this is going to require some patience. You aren’t going to fix things quickly and you’re going to have to start playing the long game. Patience and perseverance is the order of the day.
If you’re able to convince yourself you can live without her, you may notice the black cloud lifting. That’s not to say that you want to live without her, but psychologically you have to tell yourself that you are able to get along in life on your own.
Make sure you give her some time to cool off. During this time you shouldn’t be trying to get her back and you should be treating her with the utmost respect. Over the course of a week or so, you could see a huge difference. During this time let her know that you’re there as a friend if she needs you.
This isn’t what she’s going to expect. She’ll still be expecting you to be needy and desperate, meanwhile you’re supportive and understanding. What a difference! No doubt she’s going to be taken by surprise.
After a week or so, it’s time to ramp things up a little. I’m not saying that you should profess your undying love, but you can start getting a little more friendly. These are very uncertain times and you are really going to have to take your time and think about what you say and do. Think friend mode. I know down the road you don’t really want to be friends, but this is something that’s going to have to happen first. You simply can’t jump right back into a romantic relationship with her – it simply doesn’t work that way.
Best of luck!