By far, one of the biggest mistakes made by those desperately trying to get their ex back is attempting to strong-arm the other person into taking them back.
Yet, it happens all the time. We continue to text, email or phone the other person in a frantic attempt to right the situation.
Unfortunately, not everything can be solved with a phone call. And when it comes to fixing a breakup, you can do far more harm just trying to contact your ex than you would if you ignored them completely.
There are no magic words. Nothing you say is going to make it better. Any dialogue immediately after a breakup is only going to make it worse. There is literally no upside, and a huge downside. If you get caught in that, you can end your relationship permanently in very short order.
Your ex does not want to talk to you. They dumped you and they are determined to follow it through. When you force them to talk to you, they are going to resent the fact that your making them very uncomfortable. They already feel guilty, and the more contact you have, the worse they are going to feel.
Many couples get to a point where one is so sick of the other that they feel they have no choice but to break it off. They literally detest the other so much that they don’t want to hear from them at all – not one more word. So when you pester your ex with text messages and phone calls, guess what kind of reception you’re going to get?
If you can understand that your ex does not want to talk, then you are doing better than most. Have you ever wondered why they are suddenly so hostile toward you? Well, that is the reason. It simply isn’t the time or place to reach out to them.
And, as mentioned, there is the guilt they are feeling too. No one wants to feel worse than they are already, and that’s what you’re doing if you continue to contact your ex.
But it’s a tough pill to swallow. Every fiber of your being is telling you to contact them and work it out. It’s like you don’t have a choice.
And that can seem perplexing to anyone that’s giving you advice. They can’t understand why you continue to torture yourself by contacting your ex. You may even get the usual “canned” responses like, “Just forget about it and move on” or “Don’t worry, someone else will come along.”
No one can really understand where you are right now. You have to be living in the moment to really get it. In fact, months from now, you yourself might be wondering what all the fuss was about.
It takes willpower
For the most part, it is going to take sheer willpower to stop yourself. You are going to have to cut off contact using brute force. Not the easiest thing to do. But just keep telling yourself that nothing good can come of it. Even though you think you can fix this by just talking to them, you can’t.
It’s not forever
Keep in mind that this is not going to be a permanent thing. You are not going to ignore your ex forever. Eventually, once the no contact period has run it’s course, you may just find that you can easily talk to your ex the way you did before. Once the high emotion is gone, conversation may come easy with your ex.
How do you initiate a meeting after the no contact period? Well, you could try using text messages. But your approach is critical – it must be done a certain way or you’ll fail. Have you heard about the Text Your Ex Back Method? You only have one chance to do this right. Best of luck.