After a breakup, it’s a fact that you can’t force your ex to do anything they don’t want to do. You can’t force them to think a certain way or do things that are going to result in getting the relationship back. Yet, many of us miss this important point, and by attempting to force them into a certain way of thinking, we end up alienating ourselves even further.
Attempting to talk your ex back into your life is a gut reaction to the events that are going on around you. In the most basic terms, you lost something and now you’re trying to get it back using the most rudimentary way possible. Not much thought is given to your methods, you simply need to fix the situation and make the hurt stop. Operating like this is not going to result in a favorable outcome.
Are you guilty of texting and phoning your ex every hour on the hour, begging them to reconsider? Are you trying to get your friends to pass a message to your ex, or put in a good word for you? Well, these are all ways of trying to manipulate your ex partner and force an outcome that is beneficial to you.
One of the best ways to get yourself out of this mode of thinking is to simply accept what has happened. It’s when we can’t accept what has happened that we start becoming manipulative and desperate. Once you have accepted the situation, it clears the decks for clearer thought and the ability to put together a real plan that will get him/her back in the future.
If you were holding out hope that all it would take is a quick phone call or text message, perhaps that is the root of your problem. It’s not that you have to give up on them, it’s just that you have to start thinking more realistically. You may even have to accept the fact that you may never reunite with your loved one – and that can be incredibly difficult.
Once you accept things for what they are, you’re going to want to look for distractions and minimize the chance of you giving in to your emotions. While you can’t force them to take you back, there are certain things you can do that will make you more attractive in their eyes. This is the only way you’re going to convince them that they may have acted prematurely.
While you want to avoid making them jealous, you definitely want to show them that you are just fine (even if you’re not) and that you are getting on with life. Reconnect with your old friends and really make an effort to up your social life. Take this opportunity to do things for yourself and explore your new freedom. If you can pull this off convincingly, you are certainly going to be on your ex’s mind more often than not.
And that’s how it starts: attention, interest, and attraction.
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