So, your ex took you back! Congratulations! Your prayers have been answered and at last you can stop worrying and get on with your life.
You see, if nothing has changed, if you haven’t changed, then what is different? What is stopping this from happening again? You got your ex back, and that is amazing, but you need to understand the reason for the breakup in the first place. How did things get so bad that your partner decided the best thing was to dump you?
While there is a chance that you are simply not compatible (then nothing you do is going to make a difference), it is more likely that there is something about you that you need to change. And I’m not talking about your annoying little habits that everyone has. No, I mean there is something you are doing in the relationship that is sabotaging it.
But what? And how do you figure it out before it’s too late?
Well, as they say, only you know the real you. Well, you and your partner. But they are never going to admit what is really bothering them.
So, let’s go over a few of the most common issues:
Jealousy. Well, this is one of the biggest reasons that people opt out of relationships. No one likes to be controlled and the subject of interrogation. Imagine what it would be like if the shoe were on the other foot? Really think about this and if you’re guilty of being a little possessive, figure out how you are going to fix it before you get dumped again.
You are needy. Do you tend to cling to your partner? Have they mentioned this in the past? If you are smothering them, then you need to stop it right away. Take some of that power back by not always telling them how nice they look, how much you love them, how lucky you are. Don’t jump when they need you. Because, if you keep this up, you’ll start boring them and, eventually, they are going to feel as though they can do better.
Financial issues. Well, here is one big reason that you may, or may not, have control over. If you are a spend thrift and in financial trouble, then put yourself on a budget. If you never have any money, curb your spending and/or get a better paying job. Take control of this because, while things may be fine with your ex back, they aren’t going to last if the root issue is financial.
Outside interference. This means that friends and/or family are constantly meddling. Be fair, but firm. If you feel that people are sticking their noses where they don’t belong, then you have to figure out a way to make it stop before you end up alone again.
Cheating. Obviously a huge one. Look, if you cheated and your ex took you back, you are extremely fortunate. Don’t throw that away by repeating the same mistake. Either you want to be with your partner or you don’t. This can’t happen again if you want to stay together.
Boredom. Yes, this is actually quite common. If you don’t want to lose your partner again, think of ways to spice things up. Get out more. Turn off the tv. Walk. Bike. Take them out for a surprise Sunday brunch. How about a Saturday date night? Spend the day at the beach or in the park. Plan a vacation. Get out of your old doldrums and start living life. Not only will they appreciate it, you will too.
Now, sometimes it just wasn’t meant to be. Don’t compromise your principles and start doing things just because you’re afraid of losing them again. It’s one thing to correct your mistakes, but quite another to conform to someone’s idea of proper behavior. It’s a fine line.
Okay, this is all well and good for someone who managed to get their ex back, but what if you aren’t there yet? Well, time’s a wasting, as they say. Here is a good way to start: The Ex Factor